Stupidity and the Neighbor’s Dog Poop

February 11, 2009 by Keli.

I have a friendly neighbor, Sandy, who’s displayed no regular, outward signs of stupidity. When we see each other, she always offers a cheerful smile and a wave. She’s capable of carrying on discussions with no hint of idiocy. Sandy’s even returned our mail every time  it’s mistakenly delivered to her by a moronic postal worker. Unfortunately, it has come to my attention that Sandy is a stuper (short, yet again, for a haplessly stupid person). Or at least a semi-stuper when it comes to one particular situation.

Every morning, Sandy walks her large, black Labrador, unleashed, to the edge of our property where the driveway is located; then they both do a U-turn and return home. We live five houses away, so it’s not really a long enough walk to qualify as “exercise.”  But it is precisely long enough for the Lab to do its doody, a massive pile of #2, right at the foot of our driveway. Right underfoot, if you will.

Our driveway is hemmed in by a gate. A manual gate, that requires us to get out of the car to unlatch, open and latch again. Must we be on the lookout for dog poop every time we exit our home? Yes, thanks to Sandy and her gargantuan Lab.

In the past, when I walked our dogs, I cleaned up all poop, often to the sound of applause from the home owner. One grateful lady, obviously watching from the window, raced out to the street early one morning, half-dressed, just to shake my gloved hand in appreciation.

Granted, it’s not easy picking up poop.  Sometimes, we can be forgetful or just lack the proper frame of mind or discipline for cleaning up after active doody. But every day? In the same spot?

When I lived in Los Angeles, I remember walking past a home that displayed a prominent, almost billboard-like sign in the front yard, detailing the dire consequences of not picking up dog poop. Near the front door of said house sat an axe, darts and other assorted subtle, yet potential weaponry. Consequently, all dog walkers steered clear of that place and the lawn looked quite stunning.

I knew that if I mentioned this messy problem to Sandy, she’d take offense. She is an older lady (about seventy or so) who prides herself on being a good neighbor; she’d be angry with me for pointing out her failing. She actually is a model neighbor, except for this recurring, stinkin’ behavior. Redepositing poop (a la an eye for an eye) is really not my style, much to Husband’s dismay. So I opted for the next best thing.

Sandy walks her dog around seven every morning. Early one morning, I wrapped myself tightly in coat, scarf and hat, and headed to the bottom of the driveway, carrying a garden shovel and a bag. I watched the Lab approaching. I proceeded to kneel down on bended knee to clean up the dog’s latest poop pile. Just as I hoped, Sandy apologized, leashed her dog and did not allow #2 to happen again.

It’s surprising how many people are completely unaware that their actions profoundly annoy others. But that’s what makes them stupers.

Unfortunately, not all neighborhood dog pooping cases are resolved so easily as this one. If you don’t plan on living in your home long and have no qualms with making enemies, there are many, many more alternatives. But if you wish to maintain a mostly peaceful existence, it’s important to choose your words and actions more carefully.

Always start out with courteous communication. Try and set an example for the stuper; something to jump-start the drowsy mind. If that doesn’t work, redepositing the poop in the path of the dog’s owner may be in order to properly assist the stuper in becoming fully aware of the problem.

Just think.

Keli

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