Stupidity When it Rains in California

February 6, 2009 by Keli.

We’ve suffered heavy rains in California over the past few days. This triggers a particularly faulty mechanism in the already empty, mental echo chamber, otherwise known as the mind, of a stuper (short, as many of you know, for an effortlessly stupid person), causing remarkably, never-before-seen and foolhardy driving techniques. Consequently, accidents increase during even a slight drizzle. A cloudy day alone is enough to make some stupers swerve and brake more unnecessarily than usual.

Thinkers, such as the vast majority of my dear readers, realize the need to exercise additional caution on slick roads and highways. They take extra measures to ensure safety. Alas, stupers do not.

Here’s a short list detailing the idiocy of meager minds when roads are wet:

- They speed, especially around corners and on freeways. Speed limits be damned during inclement weather!;

- They disregard traffic lights, wrongly believing these signals cease to have meaning during storms. The same goes for stop signs. When stupers do stop, it’s often too late;

- They excel in tailgating the unfortunate vehicle in front closely enough to make other motorists believe the stuper driver is being towed by the front car’s driver. This is prevalent when rain is accompanied by fog;

-  They relentlessly persist in changing lanes without turn signals. TSDD (Turn Signal Deficit Disorder) is at fever pitch during California’s rainy season;

- They think spinning is what you do with your car when it rains, not what you do on a stationary bike for aerobic exercise;

- Although driving while cell phone chatting is currently illegal in California, stupers feel making calls to let everyone know it’s raining is mandatory; and

- Idiots believe a new law takes effect during the rainy season: turning one’s head when making lane changes is prohibited. All eyes must face forward. Hence, stupers randomly float in and out of lanes without looking around.

These statistics came my way courtesy of a tow truck driver who stated that even during a slight drizzle, he is so inundated by towing cars involved in accidents, that he can’t even take a simple bathroom break, thanks to the stupers-at-large.

Remember, there very well could be a stuper operating the motor vehicle(s) next to you.

Just think.

Keli

Keli@counterfeithumans.com

Posted in Vehicular Stupidity | 5 Comments »