Don’t be a Doormat for Stupidity

November 18, 2008 by Keli.

Since the infancy of this blog, I’ve received  a few complaints. Yes, I know; my dearest readers are muttering, how is that remotely possible? It just is. These choleric grumblings arrive in e-mail form, carrying a snarky, dismissive tone on their spam ridden backs. I’ve never met these disgruntled readers, yet I’ve managed to create a physical profile:

Male, 5-feet 5 1/4-inches tall, burly (discerning minds might say portly), rapidly receding reddish-blond hair, walrus mustache and tattoo of a spare tire on the left forearm.

I am not clairvoyant. Gender is deduced from their first names, and the rest I know intuitively.

They claim my posts are “weak,” “infirm,”  “cowardly,” even “spineless.” The word “wuss” was bandied about freely.  I’m “way too nice” when it comes to dealing with stupers (short, as you know, for phenomenally stupid persons).

Then these vanilla wafer pillars of manliness explain how they would have handled the situation: with explosive anger and an unending barrage of expletives, possibly followed by a fistfight or at least a serious arm wrestling match with the featured stuper(s). Why haven’t I thought of that? Because I don’t fistfight, at least not since that incident 12 1/2 years ago in that bar in Detroit. And because I seldom dabble in the zero tolerance approach to stupidity. Plus, it’ll take something with a lot more bang to displace a disorder that’s thousands of years old.

Which brings me to the subject of this post: I typically advocate kindness in managing the stupid among us. However, there are those monumentally meager minds who mistake benevolence for weakness. Kindness may be a wasted virtue when used on the determinedly empty mind.

 We should in no way resemble doormats where stupers wipe their calloused feet.  

When dealing with dimwits to whom we’ve consistently extended kindness and who nevertheless excel in displaying irritating idiocy in our presence, we must take appropriate action. (This is where I bang my fist on the nearest table). If possible, and if you believe it will make a difference, communicate your feelings firmly (profanity should be utilized only if you believe it will jumpstart the otherwise dull and deficient mind) and with temper intact. I’ve found that during such communications, if you can intermittently stare off with a steely gaze and knitted brows at an imaginary object just above the stuper’s head, thereby successfully imitating a somewhat half-crazed, verging on madness type of expression, you will meet with uncommon success.

 Should communication be impossible or not worthwhile, turn your back on stupidity and keep it turned. Don’t ever look back on the stuper unless you’re absolutely positive a heartwarming apology (as opposed to a pseudo apology - “I’m sorry if…”) is forthcoming, preferably accompanied by a token gift and several years’ worth of  dark chocolate truffles for all the troubles caused by the idiot.

Stupers should never knock us off balance in our delicate walk on earth.

Think.

Keil

Keli@counterfeithumans.com

Posted in Monumental Stupidity, Plain Old Fashioned Stupidity | 6 Comments »